TurdoTax questions - and I still need 15 characters (and 3 words)

I just spent a couple of minutes looking at the TurdoTax community and decided I could help with some of their top questions of the day.  I have listed their questions below and answers that I have derived from watching their commercials since I have never tried working with TurdoTax

Question - "My daughter turned 17 on 12/9/15 but I am not getting a child tax credit for her because "she is 17 or older"it says (when I clicked "why"..she was 16 11 months of 2015"

Answer - click on the picture of a 16 year old on the software.  Be careful not to click on the 17 year old ------------- they are hard to tell apart.

Question - "Bought a car in 2015
Do I need to do something for that?"
Answer - Click on the picture of the car.  I'm guessing you should click on the picture of the Yugo instead of the BMW.

Question - "when filling my taxes what do i put my gross or whats in the box 1 on my W2's"
Answer - Click on the picture of the W-2.  Wait, no, take a picture of your W-2.  Wait, call a genius in support, this one is too complicated for me.

Quesiton - has any body ever been told they owe 0$ on returns and are getting 0$
Answer - Click on You-tube and search for what is zero.

Question - I filed for taxes on April 15th with the help of turbo tax. Ithe IRS says it sent my refund on April 29th, 2015and I still haven't received it. Where is my refund money?
I called up Santa Barbara bank, since I was routed there. But they were very evasive. Nearly 1100$ of my tax money remain unpaid to me. Please help me. Also, I am in India now and can hardly talk to any personnel because of exorbitant international call rates. Can I have my refund back as soon as possible?

Answer - click on the picture of Bernie Sanders giving his speech about the evils of Wall Street.  Well, actually just click on the picture of Bernie.  All of his speeches are about the evils of Wall Street.

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